ISBN: 9780897936057
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The Caregiving Wife's Handbook
Caring for Your Seriously Ill Husband, Caring for Yourself
by Diana Denholm PhD, LMHC

Traditionally, caring for a dying husband has been seen as a "wifely duty." When a husband is in the process of dying for many months or years the experience is quite different than a husband's sudden death. On top of dealing with the tragedy, the wife must figure out how to make life work. Sometimes a woman is married to the love of her life and sometimes not. Some marriages strengthen, while others disintegrate. Some women are in abusive relationships and find the abuse continues, and even increases, during these times, while others find, much to their surprise, that they become the abusers. Still some will start or increase substance abuse and others will have affairs to get by.

The Caregiving Wife's Handbook aims to help women get through their husbands' illness and death with compassion, emotionally whole and without regret by helping them communicate clearly—and in steps—about issues affecting this unique caregiving relationship.

Without specific direction, many women find themselves over the top with stress as their lives change radically. As a board certified medical psychotherapist and primary caregiver, Diana Denholm recognized the need for a step-by-step process to help women communicate with their husbands to avoid irreparable damage and regret. In The Caregiving Wife's Handbook you will learn:

• To ask questions you may not realize you need to ask
• The issues that bother you and a method for categorizing them
• What you should and shouldn't discuss with your husband
• How to make and prepare for a date to talk about difficult topics
• What to do if your husband won't talk
• To create "understandings" with your husband
• How to deal with his family

You will also learn survival tips from the case histories of Joyce, Fran, Tina, Jean, Susan, and Mary. Their experiences will help you:

• Choose roles you should take and those you should avoid
• Understand what is “normal” in what you’re experiencing and feeling
• Take care of yourself so you can survive and even have fun
• Implement do’s and avoid don’ts to make your life simpler
• Balance with greater ease

Other topics addressed are:

• Sex life/intimacy
• Current and future finances
• Fatigue
• Sleep
• Household duties
• Job responsibilities
• Irresponsible behaviors
• Unrealistic expectations...

The Caregiving Wife's Handbook, will give you the tools and support needed to get through your husbands' illness and death with compassion, emotionally whole and without regret.

REVIEWS AND TESTIMONIALS

Foreword Book of the Year 2011 Finalist in Family & Relationships

“I like that the book gives very practical advice for the caregiver. For the new caregiver, maybe even the seasoned one, advice on things like “emotional fine line issues” is key to direct a caregiving relationship to a healthy place.”
- Allie Axel, Caregiver Survival Network

“A must read for all caregivers… Her personal story coupled with invaluable guidance makes this a book a healing companion for any caregiver.”
– Cathy S. Kohut, Amazon Reviewer

“The Caregiving Wife's Handbook is an enormously moving and important work. Dr. Denholm has thrown open the door on a long ignored subject. This well written handbook offers practical tools for successful communication between spouses during the very stressful experience of serious illness.”
– Dr. G, Amazon Reviewer

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction: What's Happening to my Life!
Chapter One: How To Really Make Life Work
Chapter Two: Now What?
Chapter Three: Communication Tools 101 (or shall I say 9-1-1!)
Chapter Four: Make a Date, Relax, Then Talk Your Way to Understandings!
Chapter Five: Understanding Our Emotions &tilde Life in the Guilt Factory
Chapter Six: My Way/His Way
Chapter Seven: Practical Issues
Chapter Eight: The Social/Familial Issues
Chapter Nine: Taking Care Of Yourself &tilde Why, How and How Others Do It
Chapter Ten: 50 Do's and Don"ts
Chapter Eleven: The Final Chapter

PUBLICATION DETAILS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Diana Denholm, PhD, LMHC, holds a doctorate in psychology and became a board certified medical psychotherapist following her doctoral studies at the University of Connecticut. She has been a practicing therapist for over thirty years and while working with clients originated and developed the methods taught in this book. Diana has been a pioneer in converting esoteric methods into practical and easily understood tools. She has successfully used these methods in her work with her many clients and for herself as the primary caregiver during the 11 1/2 years of her late-husband’s illness. Diana lives in West Palm Beach, FL.